Going Home Again
by zyxw
Summary: After Jake imprinted Leah took off. Gone for seven years she still calls her brother every other day but he doesn't update her on the many changes because the last time he tried she quit callling. She's coming home to visit and everything is different.


DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING EXCEPT A SEMI-VIVID IMAGINATION.

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><p>"I really don't feel comfortable going back there," Leah argued into the phone. She hadn't set foot in La Push in seven years. Not since Jake imprinted on the half-leech and her new pack was suddenly destroyed. She could remember the day so vividly.<p>

They were facing off. Sam's pack against her, Seth, and six of the Cullens. Jake had gone inside to destroy the thing that had killed Bella and the blond bitch vamp that was currently taking care of it. But they didn't hear a struggle inside. And moments later he came out again looking dazed. It seemed for a moment that Sam was going to break through their line and get inside but then Jake phased and she could read his thoughts even while Bella's husband relayed the message to the original pack. Jake had imprinted. The pack couldn't hurt the Cullens. It was their most sacred law. The fighting ended and for a long moment everything was still, quiet. All of a sudden it wasn't just Jake's and Seth's thoughts that she could hear anymore. There was Sam again and Jared, Paul, Embry, Quil, all of them. The pack had reunited and she was stuck again. Stuck with him again. Unless of course…

The thought had barely formed in her head when she decided to do it. If she waited they'd all know. He already did. The large black wolf sprinted toward her, trying to block her path. Selfishly trying to keep her behind. He still loved her, she knew, but it wasn't enough. The wolf outweighed the man. He wanted her but the wolf wanted Emily and in the end the wolf won. He was big. He was intimidating. But she was agile and she was fast. And if she was going to do it now would be the time. So she did it. She sprinted straight at him as well. The wolves and the vampires watched in stunned silence as she jumped over him and sprinted into the woods. He tried to chase after her. She could hear his thoughts.

She heard Sam's howl of pain then she heard someone else. It was Seth. Her baby brother. He was happy to have finally hurt Sam, even a small amount for the pain the alpha had caused his sister. He was pleading with her not to leave. Or rather not to leave him behind. But she kept running and soon his thoughts were out of her head but she still heard his screams. He'd changed back as the intense emotions he felt had kept him from holding his form and in his sorrow he'd changed from the wolf back to the fifteen year old boy who was thrown into a situation that was too much for his age. Now she heard his agonizing human screams.

"LEAH! COME BACK! PLEASE DON'T GO! TAKE ME WITH YOU! I NEED YOU!"

He was sobbing by the time his friends and the leeches caught up to him. The mother leech kneeled next to him covering him with the blanket she'd washed and put outside for him to sleep on. He was naked. He was crying and he was cold. And that's how he knew it was over for him. He was cold. Wolves never got cold. He stood, threw the blanket off of him and ran. Not as the wolf but as the boy back home to his mother. A place he hadn't been allowed to set foot on in weeks. He returned to her open arms and cried as he gave her the news. Bella was dead. Leah was gone. He was just a boy again. And it was all for nothing.

All of it! His father's death. His sister's broken heart. Jake's undying devotion to Bella. The pack! The tribe. He was ecstatic the day that they moved off of the reservation and into Forks with Charlie. By then all the vampires were gone.

He watched as one by one all of the wolves returned to normal. Well maybe not normal. They all still looked like they were on steroids but they didn't phase anymore. He watched as one by one all of the all-consuming imprint caused relationships disintegrated into nothing and everyone moved on or away. He laughed in satisfaction when, during his senior year at Forks High School, he answered the door to his crying cousin. She was the real reason Leah was hurt to begin with. Yes, Sam had imprinted and there was nothing anyone could do until the vampire infestation ended but Emily could've said no. It wasn't even a week after he dumped Leah that Emily was moving onto the rez and into Sam's house and now she was broken just the way his sister had been broken. And he like that.

Emily had kept coming around for a while, hoping to see Sam, who also came around a lot, hoping that one day Leah would return. She didn't, though he never gave up. He still visited Charlie and Seth's mom at least once a week. He'd never given up on Leah and eventually Seth learned to forgive him. He knew that even as a wolf, even when everything in his nature told him to love Emily, a small part of him still loved Leah. And Seth respected him for that to this day.

He'd never told his sister any of this of course. As far as she knew he was still a wolf, Bella was dead, Jake was waiting for the half-vamp to grow up, Sam and Emily were married, and the pack was still together. He knew that it had to be that way. If he breached the subject she'd stop calling. He'd tried before and she disappeared on him for six months. For seven years now, aside from the brief interlude, she'd called him every other day on the pay phone outside of the Forks Diner where he washed dishes to put himself through college. And for seven years he never told a soul that he spoke to her almost daily. Not even their mom knew. Because he loved her and he wasn't willing to lose her again, he was willing to do it all on her terms.

Seth seemed to be the only person who remembered the way it used to be. The way she used to be. Back when she laughed. Hell, back when Sam laughed. Even when his body told him that he was meant to be with Emily it was obvious to all of the Clearwaters that he wasn't as happy as he'd been with Leah. Back before the vamps and the wolves. When she had the man of her dreams by her side and the diamond on her finger and the smile on her face. When she dragged him to look at dresses and made him promise that he'd stand up for her at the wedding.

"Sis, I'm getting married!" he pleaded. "Please! You're the only one I want standing up for me at my wedding."

~Home~

Two months later, Leah was driving the familiar streets of Forks, Washington toward the home of Charlie and Sue Swan. Seth had broken the news to their mother and she and Charlie had prepared Bella's old bedroom believing it would too hard for her to stay with Seth at their old house on the rez. She knew Billy would be there when she arrived as well. Seth had prepared her for that much. The air was crisp and clean. Nothing like the smog of Los Angeles. She could smell the rain that promised to fall by the end of the night. Again, nothing like Los Angeles. She felt soothed at the same time that the constricting tightness latched onto her chest. Would she be able to avoid it while she was here? Or would the entire pack be invited as well? How many children did HE have now? Were they happy? She tried to tell herself that she didn't care. She tried to remind herself that she didn't need him. She was twenty-six, successful and if the many men that hit on her on a single night out were any indication—quite beautiful. Her heart had started to thaw and she tried to love herself again. She was a catch and she was going to make it through this and possibly not return until this Anna girl that Seth was marrying started popping out children. She wondered for a moment if she could convince him that LA would be the perfect yearly vacation spot. They had Disney Land, Lego Land, Universal and Magic Mountain after all. Her future nieces and nephews would love that.

Now she was on Charlie's street. She could see the cars lined up in front of his house and hoped that they belong to Anna's large family but she recognized most of them. There was Charlie's squad car, her mother's minivan, Billy's pick up, Jake's motorcycle, the car that her father had left for Seth, and a few others. For a moment she considered turning around. It wasn't too late. No one knew what her car looked like and with the dark tinted windows no one in town had seen her yet. But then she remembered the thirteen year old Seth that obediently followed her from shop to shop and watched her as she tried on dress after dress. She remembered how he'd made her a promise that he'd stand by her side while she married Sam. The constricting pain took over again as she thought the name. She knew then that she had to stop for the simple fact that she wasn't breathing and if she attempted to drive, she'd crash. She pulled to a stop behind Billy's truck on the side of the street opposite the house.

They had put up a sign welcoming her home and they were all standing in the front yard talking excitedly as they waited for her. She attempted to take a deep breath as she opened the door and set one foot out of the car. The excited chatter hushed instantly as Seth sprinted across the yard and the street and lifted his sister in his arms, spinning her.

"Is it really you?" he asked as tears filled his eyes.

"It's me," she promised as he set her back down and lifted the dark sunglasses away from her eyes.

"You have no idea how good it is to see you!" Seth told her as he pulled her in for another hug. "God, I've missed you so much!"

"I missed you too," she assured him as he finally released her and taking her hand pulled her back across the street and into the welcoming arms of their mother. Even then he didn't let go. Afraid that if he let go she'd just disappear, that this was just some crazy vivid hallucination and he'd soon snap out of it and Anna would have him committed.

Jake was next pushing Seth's hand away so that he could get both arms tight around Leah. "It's good to see you," he whispered. The constricting pain eased slightly. It was good to see him too. She remembered for a brief moment before Jake imprinted how she thought that maybe, just maybe, they could be together. She knew she'd never love him the way she'd loved Sam and that he'd never love her the way he loved Bella but as long as they both knew it maybe they could be happy together still. It was selfish. She knew that now. But it still felt good to know that one man here still loved her other than her brother.

Billy was next to greet her, then Charlie before she was finally introduced to Anna Weber and the girl's very large family. After that they went inside for dinner and spent the rest of the night talking. Anna and the Webers left around midnight. Charlie, Sue and Billy all yawned and complained of being tired as well. When Billy finally left Seth and Jake had an idea.

"Let's go to the rez!" Jake insisted.

"We can stay in the tree house! Like we used to!" Seth added, excitedly.

Leah looked away, trying to fight back the tears. They'd made it to this point without any mention of the tribe or the rez. It was like they were normal people at a normal family reunion doing normal things. She wanted to savor that. To hold it close to her heart for as long as possible.

"You can go in the truck with Seth and leave your car here. No one will ever have to know that you're there. I'll personally escort you back here in the morning so you can use my helmet to block your face," Jake pleaded. "No one will have to know you're here till they see you at the wedding."

"And you're leaving the day after! Please? Can't we just go back and try to pretend that things are the way they used to be," Seth added.

"The way they were meant to be," Jake finished.

She gave a stiff nod and they all made their way toward the vehicles. Half an hour later she was standing in the back yard of her childhood home as her younger brother carried blankets and flashlights to the tree house their father, Charlie and Billy had built for them as children. She tried not to cry as she remembered the summer nights she spent telling ghost stories to Jake and Seth as children. Now they were grown men and she was a grown woman with a college degree and a townhouse in the Hollywood Hills. Everything was different but she wished it wasn't. It all felt the same in this moment and she wished she could hold onto that feeling forever.

"You coming or what?" Jake called to her from the top of the ladder and she ran to catch up.

They were still up talking at six in the morning. Well Leah and Jake were at least. Seth had passed out hours earlier.

Finally she breached the most sensitive subject of all, the wolves. She didn't want to. She wanted to feel carefree and happy like a child in her father's hand-crafted tree house forever but she also wanted to keep Jake talking and they'd run out of things to talk about.

"So did you get the night off from babysitting?" she thought it best to approach it teasingly to keep the conversation light.

"Babysitting?" Jake questioned, genuinely confused.

"Bella's kid," Leah clarified.

"I haven't seen them since a few days after I last saw you," he answered calmly. "Didn't Seth tell you? They left and swore to never come back. I haven't phased in seven years. I haven't thought about them in just as long. It's over. All of it."

"You mean you broke the imprint?" she asked, stunned.

"The wolf left me and the imprint ended too," Jake explained.

"That simple, then? So Seth didn't imprint on Anna?"

"Seth changed back a few minutes after you left and never phased again. Losing you was just too much for him. He didn't care about anything else for the longest time. Then the Cullens all left and one by one the rest of us all stopped phasing. All the imprints were broken. All of them," he stressed the last sentence.

~Home~

Sam heard it all from the ground. Somehow, when everything else left him he still had the superhuman hearing associated with a dog and at the moment he didn't know whether or not to be grateful for it.

Like so many nights he couldn't sleep. He'd tried but awoken to nightmares of her. They weren't nightmares in the traditional sense. In fact most would consider them pleasant dreams. Then again most hadn't been engaged to the woman of their dreams and completely blown it the way he had. He dreamed of her returning to visit her mother and brother happily married with twin sons running around her feet and a devoted husband. A man as devoted as he had always dreamed of being to her and for the past four years had dreamed of the opportunity to be to her again. He dreamed he ran into her randomly on First Beach and she didn't even remember his name. He dreamed that he had the opportunity to confess his undying love for her and she laughed in his face. Tonight, however, he'd dreamed that Jake didn't imprint on Renesme and instead he'd decided to be with Leah. She loved him as well and when the vampires cleared out and everything went back to normal Sam loved Leah again but she loved Jake now.

Sam didn't know what had caused him to leave the house that night. Normally he'd drink a beer, watch some crappy late-night infomercials and wait for the sun to rise but tonight he felt it wasn't a normal night. Something was very different about tonight. He needed to be outside tonight. So he went for a jog. And like he normally did on his jogs, he went past the Clearwater house. If it were daytime he'd stop in and say hello to Seth, hoping to hear something about Leah. Sam knew he was holding back. He just had a feeling that Seth knew more than he ever let on and though the younger man had sworn he'd forgiven him, Sam couldn't help but feel like Seth was hiding it from him out of spite. He didn't blame Seth for it however. He knew he deserved it.

And tonight as he jogged past he heard something.

"Are you coming or what?" Jake had yelled.

There was a soft feminine giggle then she answered, "Coming."

Sam recognized the voice immediately. It was Leah. She was back. And she was with Jake of all people. He snuck around the side of the house and watched her climb the rotting ladder into the old tree house. He listened as the three laughed and reminisced. She seemed so happy, so much like the old Leah, the Leah he'd so unwillingly destroyed.

Sam waited for hours and now finally they started to stir at six thirty in the morning. Jake and Leah had stayed up talking but the conversation ended when Jake explained that the pack was no more and the imprints were gone as well. There was a long silence before Jake cleared his throat and mentioned driving her back to Forks. "The entire tribe will be up soon," he'd warned.

Leah woke Seth and said her goodbyes. He promised to see her in just a few hours. Soon the door creaked open and he finally saw her for the first time in over seven years. It seemed as though time had slowed down as she made her way slowly down the ladder. She was even more beautiful than he remembered if that was even possible. And she was smiling in a way he hadn't seen in almost a decade, a way he hadn't seen since he left her.

"Hurry up, Jake," she called up the tree. "I don't want anyone to see-"

She turned as she spoke and there he was. Her smile disappeared.

"Lee Lee," he choked out.

"Don't you dare call me that," she ordered.

"It's so good to see you," he continued to approach her even as she backed away.

"Just leave me alone Sam," she replied. That seemed to get things moving in the tree. Jake dropped to the ground easily with Seth close behind.

"I've missed you," he told her, a sob evident in his voice as he took another slow step approaching her now as if she were a wild animal. Somehow that hurt her more than seeing him after all this time. Once she made it where she needed to be she changed back to a human and never phased again. She was more of a wounded animal now.

"It was your choice to leave me to begin with." She continued to back away as Jake and Seth moved in front of her.

"I never had a choice!" Sam cried. "I never had a choice and I never loved her the way that I love you! You were the only choice I ever made!"

"Look maybe it's best if you do this another time," Jake tried to reason but it was as if Sam couldn't even hear him.

"Seven years! I've waited seven years for you to come back! I left her!" he promised. "I left her four years ago. It was just after the last time I phased and it would've all ended sooner but she kept doing things to make me angry. To make the wolf stay so that I had to stay! I never wanted to stay! I love you! I'VE ONLY EVER LOVED YOU! Please just talk to me. Let me explain!"

Leah fell to her knees in tears. It was all too much. Finding out that the Cullens were gone, the pack was no more, things were back to the way they were always meant to be. But they'd never be that way completely. They all knew it. Too much happened in too short of time. Too many people got hurt.

"Come on," Seth told her, lifting her from the ground. "I'm taking you back to mom's house."

Jake blocked Sam's path long enough for them to get back to the truck. The older man was angry and it was obvious as the truck pull out of the drive way and Sam shoved Jake out of the way. Jake dodged a fist.

"What the fuck, dude?"

"So you and Leah now?" Sam questioned. "You knew how I felt! Everyone here knows how I feel! You all know I'd do anything to have her back and you do this!"

"Do what?" Jake asked as he dodged another fist. "Nothing's going on with me and Leah! She came home for the wedding and Seth and I convinced her to come back to the rez so we could camp out like we used to! That's all! We're friends! We've always been friends!"

Sam sank to his knees in tears. "It was just this stupid dream I had last night," he choked out. "I miss her so much, man. All I want is to have her back!"

"I know," Jake replied. "Just give her a little bit. Give her a chance to sleep and let the shock wear off. She only just found out that Emily's gone and then you laid all that stuff on her after ten years of her walking around broken."

Sam nodded.

"Good. Now go home, take a nap, take a shower and clean up," Jake advised. "You look like hell!"

~Home~

It was three in the afternoon before Leah awoke. She'd cried herself to sleep on the ride back to her mom's house. Everything seemed the same but it was all so different. She wasn't ready for it. Seth offered to uninvited Sam. Their mom had insisted on inviting everyone so he did. The whole "pack" was coming but he'd tell Sam to stay home if she wanted him to. And Sam would stay home without argument, Seth knew. Sam would do anything for her. Not because he had to like with Emily but because he wanted to. He wanted her to be happy. She told him she had to think about it.

"Hey Sam!" she heard Charlie greet from downstairs. "Guess you heard Leah was home and wanted to say hi?"

Charlie hadn't been home when she got back. He was called into work early to deal with some minor robbery, some stupid kids pulling a senior prank.

"Do you mind?" she heard Sam reply.

"You're always welcome here. You know that. I don't know if she's awake yet. I guess she and the boys stayed up late last night. You look good. Better than the last time I saw you."

He had looked like shit this morning if she was honest with herself. It had been good to see him but he was filthy and looked like he could use a shave, a nap and a good meal.

"You can just head up if you want. She's in Bella's old room."

She wondered if she should continue to get dressed or lay back in bed and try to put this off a little while longer. She opted for sprinting to the shower. It was a good choice for two reason. She'd driven straight through from LA napping in her car at rest areas when she was tired and she hadn't showered since before leaving home. And second it would give her a little while to think things over and delay seeing him a while longer. Maybe he'd leave.

He hadn't left. She came back to the room in skinny jeans and a white sweater with a lace back. She was drying her long hair with the towel and though she knew he'd come it still surprised her to see him sitting on the bed waiting when she re-entered the room.

"I always liked you with longer hair," he complimented causing her to jump slightly in the silent house. Charlie had left again.

She just stood there not knowing what to say and before she knew it tears were burning her eyes and rolling down her cheeks again.

"I've missed you so much Lee Lee. I know I hurt you but I never wanted to. Hurting you killed me. I never would've done it if I had a choice. I'm so sorry! I can't even express how sorry I am!"

"I know," she replied in a small whisper.

This time she let him approach her. She didn't flinch or pull away when he wrapped his arms tightly around her waist. "I can't believe you're here! It's like a figment of my imagination. I've dreamed of seeing you again for so long. Of holding you in my arms!"

She let her tears fall as she buried her head in his muscular chest. His fell in her damp hair.

"Can we just start over?" he pleaded. "Pretend like it never happened?"

She shook her head and he sobbed harder. His tears were no longer tears of joy they were tears of sorrow, pain, and regret again.

~Home~

Two weeks later, Leah stood by her brother's side as he wed Anna Weber. She liked the girl because of the way Seth was when he was with her. He was himself again. He wasn't the anger-filled man that she spoke with on the phone for the first year she was away. He was happy, optimistic, loving and kind. He was her baby brother, the boy she remembered before it all went to shit.

When the ceremony and reception were over she went home. Not to Charlie's house, not to LA. To the reservation and to Sam. After he'd cried and pleaded with her a while longer that day in Bella's old bedroom he finally calmed down and allowed her to soothe him. She hadn't meant that she didn't want to see him again. She simply meant that too much had happened to just forget about it. She didn't want to pretend it never happened because it proved to her that Sam was the only man that she could ever truly love and it proved the same to him about her. She simply wanted to pick up where they'd left off all those years ago. She didn't want to start dating again and waste so much time. They'd wasted enough time. She wanted to start planning her wedding again and to just be with him. And tonight that's what they were doing.

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><p>AN: I always felt bad for Leah that there wasn't any resolution to her heartache. I used to want her and Jake to imprint on each other. Like a kind of late bloomer it took them a while to imprint thing. Sadly nothing ever worked out for her. This is my way of making it up to her. Plus I have a crush on Sam. He's hot!

Please review. They make me smile and I could use some smiles right now!


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